I can't imagine a better way to go…
This blog post is dedicated to my beautiful wife, Jenny. I love you baby.
This past Saturday, Clarence Vail died. In a way, this stranger was a hero to me.
Mayme and Clarence Vail were the longest married couple still living in the United States, and were photographed Thursday , July 19, 2007 at their retirement center in White Bear Lake, Mn. The couple was married for 83 years. Photo by Scott Takushi, Pioneer Press.
Granted, I didn’t know him prior to reading the St. Paul Pioneer Press article this morning, but he became a hero to me none-the-less. You see, he and his wife Mayme were married 83 years at the time of his death at the age of 101. I can’t imagine a better way to go. If I live that long, I’m supremely confident that I’ll be able to boast of a lengthy marriage. Perhaps not 83 years, but I will have the best partner, the closest soul mate and the most loving wife when I do pass.
How can I be so confident in this age of divorce, scandal and adversity? Simple. I follow Clarence’s advice.
“Just do what she wants you to do.”
Of course, there are two in a marriage. Mayme’s advice to her daughter is something I think my wife respects.
“The key to a good marriage was to first find a good husband and, second, not try to change him too much.”
Jennifer and I are best friends to the end. We have a lot differences, but we get along better than any two people I’ve ever met. And then there’s the love. Boy, have we got a lot of it.
At the center, of course, is God. Our faith in each other is our faith in Him. I know that Clarence and Mayme had a deep faith, having prayed the rosary together every day. It seems counter-intuitive that the key to a lasting marriage could be that simple–compliance, acceptance, friendship, love and faith–but it seems so. I wish everyone that winning marital equation.
I too read this article in the PiPress, and it was well-written and touching. Although I believe faith is easily deductible from this equation, the rest seems to flow from love. My mother divorced when I was 13, and has since remarried. I think the second time around she has found the love, acceptance and friendship that make marriage valuable.
With the addition of hundreds of married couples in the U.S. thanks to a California Supreme Court Ruling, I look forward to seeing the “sanctity of marriage” strengthened with many more truly loving couples.
Hopefully your wife reads this tribute, Jeff, and affirms that “the key to a good marriage was to first find a good husband.” Certainly a touching gesture.
I am to be married this upcoming spring (2010) and all I can say is that our faith in God alone has led us to this point and I pray every night that He can help us get through 80 years of marriage… no matter what it will bring. I know it will be hard, but nothing makes me more sure than holding his hand on a Sunday morning service